The Quick Ten » action http://www.thequickten.com The Best Top Ten Lists of Everything Wed, 21 Jul 2010 02:52:16 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 Top Ten Chuck Norris Jokes http://www.thequickten.com/entertainment/movies/top-ten-chuck-norris-jokes/ http://www.thequickten.com/entertainment/movies/top-ten-chuck-norris-jokes/#comments Mon, 10 Aug 2009 09:57:37 +0000 hotsoup http://www.thequickten.com/?p=286 An image of Chuck Norris standing in front of an American Flag with two izu guns in each hand

I'm so hot right now!

Chuck Norris has undoubtedly gained a massive cult following.  However this is not really from the dedicated Walker Texas Ranger fans that dissect, analyse and blog about ever round house or uppercut thrown. No.  This following is more from the people who take enjoyment at laughing at the numerous jokes circulating about his toughness.

However as Chuck I’m sure would agree, there can only be one….or maybe ten but with a number one.  

  1. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
  2. A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris’ shoe. Chuck replied, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Chuck Norris!” The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
  3. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
  4. Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
  5. Chuck Norris does not wear a watch, he decides what time it is.
  6. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
  7. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants out of them.
  8. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more than you.
  9. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
  10. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.
]]> http://www.thequickten.com/entertainment/movies/top-ten-chuck-norris-jokes/feed/ 2 Top Ten Action Movie Stars http://www.thequickten.com/entertainment/movies/top-ten-action-movie-stars/ http://www.thequickten.com/entertainment/movies/top-ten-action-movie-stars/#comments Wed, 05 Aug 2009 08:29:15 +0000 hotsoup http://www.thequickten.com/?p=255
An image of Bruce Willis in the original Die Hard with a cigarette in his mouth

Come out to the coast, we'll have a few laughs...

Since action movies became big money in mainstream Hollywood these actors have pioneered some of the biggest and baddest action movies ever.  This top ten list is not questioning their acting ability or delivery of dubious lines.  Its about things like body count, guns, muscle, martial arts, brute force, and ability to look cool whilst shooting 4 bad guys in an elevator!  But Who is number 1?
  1. Bruce Willis
  2. Arnold Schwarzenegger
  3. Sylvester Stallone
  4. Jackie Chan
  5. Mel Gibson
  6. Stevan Segal
  7. Chuck Norris
  8. Jean-Claude Van Damme
  9. Harrison Ford
  10. Bruce Lee
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