The most enjoyable responsibility of a groom’s best man is to ensure that the stag night or weekend, is one to be recounted for years to come; perhaps even made into folk songs. No stag ‘do’ is complete without capers and pranks. The sole purpose of these often juvenile stunts is to embarrass the groom for the amusement of the rest of the group as you celebrate them leaving bachelorhood.
Here is a collection of tame and not so tame ideas. Key to success is that the entire group (except the groom) pitch into a kitty to pay for the night AND that everyone takes an active part in stitching up the groom.
- ‘Get into position’. Buy a bag of toy soldiers, each member of the group is given a soldier and on exit of each establishment they have to mimic the stance of their soldier. Funny as the evening progresses.
- Kidnap the groom by surprise in public – or pay someone they don’t know to do it. The police frown on this one though so be careful.
- Dress up. Make the groom dress up, for the whole night. Homemade or bought costumes ensure no costly dry cleaning bills at the end of the night, here’s some ideas: Chick, wrestler, Borat style mankini.
- ‘Fake a break’ after the groom passes out put one of their limbs in plaster. When they wake the next day make up a befitting story to explain the break.
- Dude that looks like a lady. Female strippers are passé, so get them a male stripper. Be ready to run when they discover the gender after they have got ‘excited’.
- Organise a ‘Stag Quest‘. Prepare a list of items they have to obtain and tasks to perform. E.g. talk a girl into removing her bra, they have to get spanked by a copper, get a tattoo.
- “Your vessel sir” Chain a tankard to the stag’s wrist for the whole night from which they have to drink.
- Homemade fake beard. Make a beard from the groups hair (use your imagination) and paste it on the groom, (don’t tell him the source until after though). Disgusting, but still has laughter factor.
- Mars bar trick. Wait until the groom is asleep, unwrap a mars bar and stick it between his arse cheeks in his undies. Next morning, is that melted chocolate or not?
- Naked homing groom. Whilst still out strip the groom of all personal possessions, including clothes and let them navigate their way back. Don’t do this if it’s a freezing cold night, hyperthermia isn’t funny.
And remember it’s not amusing if there are permanent mental or physical scars so plan responsibly-ish.